There are moments in life where it feels like it is the darkest time ever, where you think that hope cannot be found anymore. A heavy feeling in your chest settles in, and it does not seem like it is planning to leave any time soon, or ever at all. In such times, the best thing to do is to feel what you truly feel.

Eleanor’s guide book for caregivers is a book that tells both the ups and downs of an honorable role. To take care of another person is one, if not the most noble act of love. When a loved one is in need of assistance in their daily activities, a family caregiver usually steps in without question out of pure concern for the well-being of the person they hold dear in their life.

Grief – a five-letter word that, at first glance, seems so harmless. Yet, when a person looks at it close enough, they enter into a spiral dimension when they know the feeling all too well. This negative feeling places a heavy atmosphere at times, not just on themselves but also with the people around them.

The loss of a loved one brings unspeakable pain. One person’s presence, especially one that you spend a majority of your time with holds a great impact in your daily and overall life. Day by day, you start to notice that their absence makes you feel like a there is a hole in your chest. When you cannot help but reminisce of the good old days browsing through precious memories captured on your phone.

Photo by Ibraim Leonardo

In Eleanor’s guide book for caregivers, which is entitled “One Caregiver’s Journey,” the author shares her personal memoir on how she dedicated her all into taking care of her mother for nearly a decade. She did so until the very moment her mother closed her eyes for eternal rest. The most amazing part is how her mother lived to 102 years old! Imagine how strong she is along with that fact!

The loss of a loved one not only changes the caregiver’s life (specifically their daily routine), but it also alters a person’s brain. Grief is defined as the emotional state that can nearly paralyze a person as it hits them like a wave. It is a human and perfectly natural response to losing someone due to death. When a person grieves, they go through the different stages of grief, which are the following:

Denial : “That’s not true; this cannot be happening to me.”

Anger: “This is so frustrating. Who should I blame that this is happening to me?

Bargaining: “Since this has happened, I will do this instead.”

Depression: “I feel too down to do anything right now or ever.”

Acceptance: “It has already happened, and I am okay with it.”

Every person’s experiences are different, but all that was mentioned above are all normal. That is why when someone is grieving, what they need most is time. Another necessity would be to have a companion at their side, someone to confide in such times. Even an easy meal prepared by a friend or another family member can make a big difference in a grieving person’s life and well-being.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

With all that said, healing truly takes time. The best approach for grief is patience. Cry if you have to; shout to the mountains that you miss your mother/father/brother/sister/best friend, or partner. Write it out; anything healthy that will help you let it out; do not ever keep it bottled inside you.

Photo by Darwis Alwan

The brain receives the most impact when it comes to grief. Whether or not it took some time or it is the sudden death of a loved one, grief alters a person’s mind forever, which is the most powerful organ in our bodies. Grief can bring trauma to a person, however way it may be brought.

For those who lost a loved one, know that you must allow yourself the time to feel what you truly feel. Feel the pain until it may slowly ebb away. Remember, your loved one would not want to see you suffering throughout your whole lifetime because of their absence. They wish you the best and will see you soon.

Purchase “One Caregiver’s Journey,” written by Eleanor Gaccetta, to read a story that will surely tug at a person’s heart! It is available on amazon, Barnes and Noble, Google Books or visit her website www.onecaregiversjourney.com.