“On Becoming a F*cking Man” by Michael J. Ulrich
by ReadersMagnet | August 26, 2025 | Literary Executive Review | 0 Comments
Even today, many self-help authors take a bit of a risk by giving their book a provocative title. However, that carries the upside of quickly getting attention and making their message more direct, even before they open the book.
Such is the case with Michael J. Ulrich’s On Becoming a F*cking Man. The book is Ulrich’s own take on the men’s spirituality genre. But despite the provocative title, however, its contents cover a broad range of topics, such as breaking free from addiction and plenty of social commentary on the side. All of it is then brought together by Ulrich’s main goal of providing a spiritual perspective for men who seek inner peace but do not see it anywhere in organized religion. This is a little deep dive into how this book accomplishes that, and how it may very well change a reader’s life for the better.
Taking It One Chapter at a Time
Many self-help books tend to take an idea and just break it down, inviting readers to really finish the whole thing before really going into the entire program.
That’s not the case with Ulrich’s book. Instead, he gives simple instructions and encourages readers to have simple expectations. Each chapter is best read one at a time, on a day-by-day basis. They represent a particular thought, virtue, or concept. And while his writing is also very conversational and straightforward, it is also earnest about helping readers tackle a wide range of problems.
Speaking of which, Ulrich traces a lot of those problems back to a lack of spirituality in men’s lives. It is why he really makes a point to assure readers that his book is not a religious work. It is simply about opening their minds to the reality of higher powers.
He even describes himself as just a ‘cradle Catholic,’ and many chapters draw upon practices and ideas from other belief systems. The only times he refers to his own birth religion is when it helps illustrate a bigger truth that could help address the mental health crisis among men.
Lastly, it’s worth noting that the book also makes good use of original poems to help emphasize a chapter’s main point. Some of these are freestyle, while others follow a particular structure. But in all cases, they make it easier for a reader to remember the main subject for the day.
Navigating the Book
From the cover all the way down to the headings, the book makes use of basic structures in a way that almost feels like the author is giving you a brief yet empowering presentation with each chapter.
Starting from the cover, it goes well with the title. The shadow image of a man and his dog expresses the kind of rough masculinity that draws the attention of its intended audience.
Meanwhile, each of the chapters neatly arranges its various types of content so that the content doesn’t create awkward breaks when you’re reading. You know exactly when Ulrich is presenting to you an idea, followed by an exercise or a poem. Other times, he will present short stories and quotes with clear attribution.
It is a structure that is ideal for readers who may struggle with longer chapters in other self-help books. The neat bits of content all tie together to each chapter’s core theme, giving them something to reflect on even as they’ve finished a chapter.
A Word from Our Executive
I admit: I was a little shocked by the title. It made me think of all those other books about masculinity that are very straightforward (if not blunt).
Still, I was surprised at how the contents were gentler, and I understood why the author chose a really explosive word. It’s also pretty nice that he didn’t spam the word constantly, and I think that makes it a much better read.
There is also a lot of honesty here, and it’s really incredible how transparent the book is with its intentions. Without giving the whole thing away, it really isn’t about any particular religion. Belief in a higher power is possible without being too tied down to one tradition or another.
But most importantly, I think this book does an excellent job helping a lot of men out there open their minds to the idea of spirituality. There are so many problems that it can help with, especially today!
Getting the Most Out Of this Book
For those who are a bit concerned about men’s books that are all about overemphasizing masculinity, Michael J. Ulrich’s On Becoming a F*cking Man is a good alternative that is still as down-to-earth.
It’s a book that is very honest about its intentions to help readers one chapter at a time. Likewise, this honesty extends to sharing vulnerable experiences that are also in line with those intentions. And rather than pressuring readers to absorb all its ideas in one sitting, it comes across as a well-meaning colleague who simply thinks you may be better off aligning with a higher power.
