How Snowplow Parenting Robs Your Child of a Normal Life

by Blog Contributor | July 3, 2024 | parenting | 0 Comments

^{Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash}

Helicopter, lawnmower, and snow plow are terms often used to describe how some people parent their kids.

Snowplow parenting removes any obstacles in their child’s way, like a snowplow clearing snow off the street. Regardless of our kids’ age, we could be ruining them with these extreme parenting methods. However, let’s focus on snowplow parenting for now and how it robs your child of living normally.

Trust is the key component of any relationship, and that includes parenting your kids. Parents need to realize that trusting their kids is necessary and that we shouldn’t be afraid to make mistakes. Going through them will only strengthen them because that’s where the actual learning experience comes from. Moreover, several parenting books offer life coaching for parents of kids with mental health issues.

The Excessive Sparing of Your Child

For all the parents out there, new words have been coined to describe extreme parenting. In snowplow parenting, the name describes a parent plowing everything for their children. Teachers notice it constantly when parents complain about their children’s unintentional mistakes on tests. More often, they ask for more on behalf of their kids, which is the opposite of effective communication in parenting.

However, this extreme parenting stems from equally extreme fear. It is where parents feel that the world is unsafe for their kids, forming an unnatural protective instinct. While it’s a given, it becomes horrible when it affects the potential development of their child. Here are some examples:

• Engineering play dates, sports club/class schedules
• Career path from high school to college
• Close monitoring of social circles

Now, you might ask, “What is the result of these unreasonable acts?”

These kids will develop an unnatural attachment to their parents, affecting their future romantic relationships, primarily marriages. While a parent’s opinion matters in a child’s life, boundaries should be involved; otherwise, it affects the people around the child. Some will not even be enticed to live apart from their parents, which is not good.

Effects of Snowplow Parenting

Snowplow parenting results in a child being incapable of handling various situations. There is a clear difference between supporting vs. enabling. For instance, they’re unable to handle a mean roommate or friend, a mean boss or professor. Several educators and child experts would undoubtedly attest that failure will always be a part of success. At some point, the child will look back on their struggles, grateful that they shaped who they are now. However, with snowplow parenting, they will be robbed of the liberty to self-reflect on their lives.

Learning from experiencing conflict and resolution is not something a parent can plow away from for the rest of their lives. When parents allow their kids to stumble and fall, it gives them a voice in their families and social life. Moreover, we’ll see social confidence, maturity, and resilience. Rather than being a referee who’s constantly intervening, parents should think of themselves as a guide or consultant.

Why Is It Wrong to Shield Your Child from Real-Life Experiences?

Families have to create success on the child’s terms. In an age of overly anxious parenting, kids making it in life independently seems like a big deal. That’s why it’s sad for those who are already grown individuals who have been stunted in intellectual and emotional intelligence. One clear example is the recent college admissions scandal, which utterly shocked America.

Snowplow parenting is about control; it doesn’t stop even when the kids are grown. It becomes even worse as they get older. This is why controlling every part of a child’s life will result in nothing but a ruined child. Moreover, there’s nothing wrong with fearing for our child’s safety. After all, the world is still a scary place, even as an adult. However, it becomes harmful when the child feels suffocated around the clock while being watched like a hawk.

Aside from rebelling out of feeling monitored, some cases will most likely result in apathetic children. They will lack the concept of facing consequences for their actions or feel indifferent towards others. That itself is a dangerous track that any child will end up on if their emotional development is too sheltered or left unchecked.

Imperfect but Healthy – What Parenting Should Be

Human as we are, as parents, we can only do so much to shield our children from external harm. We can’t keep them in the house if they want to play because we fear they might trip and hurt themselves. While valid, those experiences will only evolve as they get older until they experience mental and emotional turmoil. But what if our children themselves cannot handle that because we cleared the path for them beforehand?

Let’s take a step back and let our kids find their own path. It’s the only thing we can do once they gain self-confidence. Just because it’s safe doesn’t mean it’s the best. So think carefully if you’re a parent who has overstepped their child’s boundaries. You might end up a snowplow parent after all the effort of raising them with love and care.

But don’t worry—you have the perfect book that guides you and addresses those concerns! Parenting becomes bearable despite the challenges if you get a copy of The Power of Imperfect Parents by Lynda Drake. Grab a copy now and experience the power of imperfect parenting!