In the chaotic world of parenting teenagers, communication can often feel like a one-way street. Parents may find themselves talking to brick walls and struggling to connect with their children as they navigate the challenges of adolescence.

As children transition into their teenage years, a common misconception prevails that they no longer wish to engage in meaningful conversations with their parents.

Author Mike Donahue recently guested on the syndicated radio program “America Tonight with Kate Delaney” to talk about his book Talking to Brick Walls: Your Teenager Wants to Talk to You.

What Makes the Book Unique

The host, Emmy Award-winning broadcaster Kate Delaney, asked Donahue, an author of several books, about the difference between Talking to Brick Walls and his other books. He said he wanted to tell parents that young people want to talk to them.

“I know that sounds very counterintuitive to what they’re probably experiencing because their kids put up walls and act like they don’t really want to talk to the parents.”

When he asked the students if they would be honest with their parents without fear or judgment, they agreed to open up.

Donahue emphasizes the importance of understanding the evolving communication needs of teenagers and advocates for changing the perspective on how parents perceive and interpret their teenagers’ messages. Rather than focusing on altering how teenagers express themselves, the book encourages parents to transform how they listen and comprehend their teenagers’ underlying emotions and thoughts. Parents can bridge the gap and establish a deeper, more meaningful connection with their children by recognizing the multiple layers and subtleties in their teens’ conversations.

The Influence of Social Media

In today’s advanced world, teenagers are more exposed to social media like TikTok. As for Donahue, young adults often face a complex social environment that becomes increasingly important as they transition into adolescence at 13. He referred to this social world as a “government,” which presents two distinct authorities that young people must navigate daily.

“I call it a government. I think there’s two governments that young people have to negotiate every single day.

“One is the adult government which is obviously parents, coaches, administrators, teachers, anybody in their adult world that has expectations for them to live out, you know, a certain lifestyle.”

Just as any parents wouldn’t give their child a loaded gun or hand over the keys to a Corvette without proper training, the internet and social media platforms are comparable to powerful tools. A chapter of his book, “The Hidden Plain Sight,” aims to inform parents about the significant responsibility they entrust to their children when providing them with a smartphone.

It explores the extensive access children now have to vast amounts of information and the potential implications of this access. The latter part of the chapter discusses how parents can protect their children from online risks such as predators, trafficking, and cyberbullying.

The Book’s Takeaway

Donahue mentions that Chapter 5 is his favorite chapter. It emphasizes the importance of listening to the children.

“You have to listen to the tension that they’re feeling between these two governments, and you’ve got to shift your concept or your dynamic to being more of a consultant than you are the CEO of your family.

“When they turn 13, you’re preparing them for adulthood.”

Furthermore, Talking to Brick Walls is a compelling and illuminating exploration of the nuances of parent-teen communication. By debunking the myth that teenagers no longer want to talk to their parents, the book encourages parents to listen with compassion and empathy, fostering more profound connections with their teenagers.

With its practical advice and compassionate insights, Talking to Brick Walls: Your Teenagers Wants to Talk to You is a must-read for parents looking to navigate the challenges of effectively communicating with their teenage children. Get a copy on Amazon.

Listen to Mike Donahue’s full radio interview with Kate Delaney on ReadersMagnet’s official YouTube channel. To learn more about the author, visit https://value-up.org/.