The latest segment of “Author’s Corner” in America Tonight with Kate Delaney features W. Veronica Lisare, author of the memoir The Other Side Of Fear: My Journey Into Perfect Love (2019).
The Other Side Of Fear tells the journey of Lisare through the ups and downs of life from an unhappy childhood, a loveless marriage, a divorce, and a battle with cancer through to a fulfilling career both as a nurse and a missionary. Other than just a memoir, the book is a compelling testimony to the faith and courage of one woman who overcame a life of abuse, crippling fear, and low self-esteem to experiencing the ultimate love of God and knowing her identity as a daughter of the King of kings.
From journals to a published book
Lisare shared to her host Kate Delaney her inspiration for writing The Other Side Of Fear. “I started keeping journals in 1990 of many things, of things I was going through, sometimes a gratitude journal, writing out people‘s encouraging words to me and when breakthrough happens. When I was in an influential place, when something I did really impacted someone else. When I traveled, I started keeping journals.
“I just want to look back on positive things. The other thing that happened was what people kept telling me. As I told bits and pieces of my story, they all said, ‘You should write a book, you should write a book.’ The final inspiration was what my pastor-teacher said, ‘What legacy are you going to leave to your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren?’
“I felt like I was hearing it all over again, and it was necessary to put down stories.”
Childhood roots of fear and victim mentality
Delaney asked Lisare, “Why is it that we feel shame for things that were done to us that we didn’t have control over?”
Lisare answered, “It’s so common because we get imprinted really when we’re in our childhood home. Our identity is so formed there either by our father not saying anything or saying too many things, and parents don’t realize the power of their words, and just experiences.
“As children, we draw conclusions about life, about ourselves, and those are lies we believe well into our adult years until they are exposed… I really felt like I was always doing things wrong, that my parents didn’t love me and they were always seemingly disgusted. The perfectionism that I grew out of that because I was afraid of making mistakes.
“You grew up thinking that you are unlovable, and I did grow up just wanting to get through the bare minimum of life, never thinking or dreaming of what I want to do with my life or what would I like to accomplish. I was just in survival mode and having a victim mentality, which I met a lot of people who still have, recounting what happened in their childhood.
“Letting that continue to influence your daily life… you know, when our parents don’t come from a perfect family, and on and on it goes back in the generations. We give that parental influence a lot of power.”
Learning to forgive and letting go of the past
Lisare was undergoing surgery and radiation for cancer when her marriage dissolved due to her husband committing adultery. Though her cancer got worse, she knew better to handle her emotions. Having already forgiven her parents, she was quick to forgive her ex-husband.
“I had already walked through years and years of forgiving my father for being abusive and my mother. I learned in the past how very, very essential it is for us to have a good life, (that) is to forgive people. That just doesn’t take them off the hook. It just releases you from the influences and impacts that past is still having in our lives, so it sets you free.”
Make sure to listen to the whole interview.
Get a copy of W. Veronica Lisare’s memoir The Other Side Of Fear: My Journey Into Perfect Love today. Order through https://www.amazon.com/Other-Side-Fear-Journey-Perfect/dp/1525552597or visit the author’s website https://www.wveronicalisare.com/