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People may become too blinded by copying these grand gestures of love they see in movies. They fail to realize that small gestures in marriage matter.
What keeps a marriage going?
This may be the million-dollar question everyone, coupled or not, is looking into. People desire to belong and connect, and one way they achieve this is through relationships. Hence, it’s crucial that when they enter one, they can make it last.
Wishing for forever may be impossible or idealistic, but lasting decades in marriage is doable.
Obviously, this doesn’t come easily. The responsibility to make marriages last is consciously dependent on the couples. They would need to put in time and effort to stay afloat and commit to the decision to stay together for longer. While fairytales and romance mediums make people believe love is enough to move mountains, it may not be enough for marriages to last.
Grand gestures, often associated with butterflies and sparks, are the most commonly celebrated indications of romance. However, it’s actually the little things that matter most, especially in long-term relationships—the consistent manifestations of love.
The Massive Power Of Small Gestures In Marriage
With hundreds of books on happy marriage, most couples already have a steady stream of materials to support their longevity. These books offer guide points and practical advice to strengthen marriages. While couples often hear about building up emotional intelligence and growing together, the real secret to long-lasting marriages lies in the little things.
It can be surprising to realize how small gestures are consequential in marriage. Compare these gestures with droplets of water and a more substantial pour. Which would fill one’s cup of love quicker? The obvious answer is the latter. But imagine if the stream only comes rarely, while the droplets come consistently. The latter would result in a more filled cup in the long run.
Compared to grand celebrations like spending money on an exquisite holiday or treating partners to a fancy meal, small gestures in marriage are more sustainable.
Luxurious events may be impactful, and memories gained during these will remain relatively longer; they can also be rare with the budget they require. On the other hand, small gestures require nothing but a conscious effort to be consistent. Both will still relay the same love, care, and appreciation to their partner. Yet, one will require fewer resources to spend. Sure, partners wouldn’t consider it a waste, but if given another option with the same return, they would choose the ones spending less.
Little Things Will Fill A Cup If Given Consistently
Small gestures in marriage may effectively show one’s love to a partner. But these must come with consistency. Always look back to the cup analogy and remember that these gestures would only fill a cup with continuity. Unlike grand gestures, which are understandably rare, the little things must be consistent to matter more significantly.
The importance of small gestures in marriage lies in how they show up as certainty. The more a partner constantly presents their love, the less likely the other will question it. What kills relationships is the doubt neglect, intentional or not, instills in couples. A consistent presentation of small gestures supplies a sense of security within the marriage. It’s not only a means of saving financially but also strengthening bonds that bring couples closer together.
Studies have shown that small gestures in marriage convey a more profound sense of thoughtfulness and meaning for couples. These also positively impact their well-being and mental health, prolonging marriages. Overall, little things may seem inconsequential, but when done properly and consistently, they convey a more consequential influence on couples’ bonds.
What Can Couples Practice Doing?
Every day is a chance to showcase small gestures in marriage. What better day to strengthen bonds than any opportunity that arises? Little things require nothing. So why should couples wait when they can practice them regularly?
One of the most accessible gestures couples can execute to show up in their marriages consistently is to vocalize their affection. Words of affirmation are an overlooked love language that will make anyone happy for longer. From saying “I love you” to constantly reassuring or complimenting them, there are numerous ways to shower one’s partner with love. Aside from words, couples should also physically shower each other with love. In creating opportunities for intimacy, nobody is left questioning whether the interest or the amount of love is still the same.
Commitment is a conscious decision. Hence, keeping relationships afloat requires constant actions that prove the decision to stay together.
If you’re looking for an excellent book to help keep the sparks alive in your marriage, Angelo and Tj Haygood’s How to Build a Successful and Loving Marriage is the book for you!